Sunday, 19 June 2011

the tiredness has passed

but in it's place a whole new can of worms has been opened, involving me needing to do serious thinking, talking, sharing. I'm not sure where this path will take me. Occasionally my mind wants to just do nothing, to continue along the path I'm going, but then I think back to the past few weeks, months and realise that apathy is an easy way to deal with things, because otherwise I have to make huge life changing decisions. And I'm not sure if I want to, if I'm really ready to, but I think I can no longer always continue on the path I'm on.

Maybe I just need to come through this process in order to deal with feeling about the situation I find myself in, to learn to adjust to what life has dealt me. Because I wasn't expecting what I've been given, and I find it unfair, unjust.

On the plus point, I've begun to tidy and sort out my house properly, and spent a domesticated morning pottering, and even made some stock for all the home cooking I need to do as I have little money.

I find myself drawn to blogs and sites that deal with living a greener, slower, thrifty life style, a path I really do need to go down. I spent quality time with some friends, embracing the dodgy weather this country throws at us, finding a new and beautiful place that I can't wait to visit again.

Up and downs. I guess that's the way of things. Sometimes I crave balance, but I'm sure, no, rather hopeful, that I'll find it some day.

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