Saturday, 21 May 2011

a week on....

And it's been a work full of appointments,vets, drs, meetings at work and all the other chaos that comes with managing. The challenges it presents continues to grow, but I am happy to embrace it. Flagging on Friday, but I think that was just a Friday tired feeling, and I'm rejuvinated by an evening spent at friends, having dinner drinking wine, being silly. It was a good night. Bolstered by plans for lunch and dinner tomorrow.

The struggles. Finances, budgeting and planning. I thought I was doing well, but not so much. I think I can reclaim it back and manage but it won't be easy. But the plus side is that I'm not so much wasting money as opposed to spending it on things that benefit the ones I love. So I can't complain really.

Time to get ready!

Sunday, 15 May 2011

this weekend

was better than I thought. I really had a week made up of small annoyances. Tiny things that add up to me feeling the need to vent and rant on Friday. But at the same time, totally appreciate the challenges that come with my job, and relish the opportunities that annoyances bring. Weird eh? But I guess thats why I went for the job I'm in. I was getting worried it was getting a little boring, mundane. I'm glad things have been shaken up a bit.

I'm not one of those people in life that relish sameness, or mundaneness. I know people (some of my friends) love things to be the same, don't like new challenges. I am the opposite. As the years go by, I realise how much I like new things, challenges, things that push me out my comfort zone. Obviously not everything, but in my career and studies, thats what I look for. I think I need to look at that a bit more in my personal life, as I can't constantly change up my career, sometimes, a period of time at a certain thing is needed for consistency (with staff/service users) and to gain experience.

Time to find something new to do in my spare time I think!

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

chicken soup for the soul....

came in the form of wine, beer, football and fantastic company for me this weekend. And it really came at the right time (especially when I read back at my last entry). Friday I spent becoming organised, something I had been procrastinating about. However, unsurprisingly this meant a lighter hearted me, one that was more positive about life and my financial situation. Friday night was spent in the company of good friends, nice dinner and lovely wine. And some drunken choones.

Sat was spent loving the game of football, enjoying my teams success, and having a ball. I talked before about sport and about how rarely the feelings of joy and success come with the teams I support. Well this weekend, that changed and it was worth it. Great afternoon.

Saturday night was spent much like Friday night, and was fantastic.

Off the back of that, my working week has so far been great. It's nice to enjoy work, even with the difficult challeneges it presents. I'm very much in a new role, although I have experience and training to back it up. Still sometimes new things appear and new things introduce some scary feelings. Last week I was not so much up for that, this week, off the back of a wonderful weekend, I am more so.

Oh and I finished it up with a cuddle from a lovely baby. Baby smiles are the best!

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

up and down...

Ever have those kind of days? I always thought I was the more long term cycle kind of person, but it appears I do have these days where I swing wildely from up to down in the space of not hours but minutes. Today was very much one of those days. Started off bad, got worse, got really quite good, blipped again, began to improve, got crap and is ending on an even keel. In that, I have a million things on my mind and heart, and a million things on my to do list. And even in writing this, I realise I've forgotten another thing I need to do. Good thing it's not even half ten yet, and I only have to leave by about quarter to 8. The joys.

I am however learning. I am going to try and take an a/l day this week for my sanity. Too long have I tried to go too long without giving myself a break or time to do the things I need to. It's my weakness, I fight on. I fight on in my mind - this relates to the last blog post - and I don't share. And by not sharing I just continue doing. And then I end up tired, stressed and depressed. Not a good place for me to be, as it takes too long to get out of there.

And you know what? Don't want to go there. I am enjoying life too much, and I want to face up to the challenges before me in a positive frame of mind, able to take them on.

Maybe it's age, but I feel a sensibleness and wisdom come upon me realising this.

Also, spotify. Good for the soul. Tunes all night, it's been a blessing.

Monday, 2 May 2011

Beer: the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems

Ah Homer. Such words of wisdom.

Yesterday my friend and I decided beer was indeed the solution to all of lifes problems. And I think it worked. I certainly woke up with a lighter heart and happier spirit. That may not be so much because of beer, but rather because my repressed soul needs a bit of oiling before I open up about whats going on. Therefore an afternoons drinking in the sun with a good friend meant a load shared, and some wisdom imparted to me. Just what the dr ordered.

I am the worst in the world for not 'telling' people whats on my heart. I am the worlds best at getting out of others what I never share. It's my skill in life, and I've made a career out of it, which is great. What is not so great is how deep in my head I go. It's my nature. Some times it serves me well, other times it's backfired horribly. I try, as the years go on, to share when needed, to not be afraid to say things out loud. Because, for me, once they are out loud, they become truth. I need to accept thats ok.

And this week, beer helped.

And I wasn't even hungover. Result.